A significant number of experiencers experience a state of depression for varying lengths of time after their NDE[1]. One person, for example, explains: “My mind took longer than my body to recover. I remained very depressed for many years. I often had suicidal thoughts because the desire to go “home” was so great. It was the confusion that persisted the longest. I was afraid, I found it painful and limiting to be in a body. I’m still very uncomfortable in it. But I’ve learned to love my life, my breath, and to be grateful for it”[2].
Several causes
There can be many reasons for this, all of which can be combined:
- The difficulty of understanding what has happened to them and telling themselves they haven’t gone mad. Especially if those around them and/or their carers suggest that they have[3 ] …
- The feeling of loneliness, the fear of being ridiculed and rejected. The difficulty of sharing their experiences with people who listen to them without judging them.
- The contrast between the happiness and peace they felt during their NDE, the beauty of the universe they glimpsed and the everyday reality of our world.
- The feeling of having lost much of the knowledge and wisdom they possessed during the NDE. For some, the return of physical pain or disability that no longer existed during the IME.
- The guilt of having been brought back to life while others are gone for good.
- The difficulty of making sense of their new lives.
- Friendly separations or even break-ups between couples. This is often the case when new values and lifestyles are not accepted by those close to them.
2 must-haves
Two things are essential for the harmonious integration of an NDE:
Time: it always takes months and sometimes years.
Family, friends and carers who help the person to integrate their experience and draw the consequences for their “second life”.
The second point is the most important. As Pim Van Lommel, a Dutch doctor specializing in IMEs, points out: “What makes IMEs so difficult to integrate is not so much their content. It’s rather the reluctance of Western culture to admit this kind of spiritual experience”. He stresses the need to train caregivers to take into account and support these special patients.
Involvement in a therapy group with other experimenters, accompanied by a specially trained professional, would also be very useful.
[1 ] To my knowledge, no large-scale study has been carried out to assess this proportion.
[2] https://www.nderf.org/French/rachel_f_emi.htm
[3] An Australian study shows that 50% of family, 25% of friends and 85% of doctors refuse to listen to experiencers’ stories. Let alone understand and accept them.
On the same theme, you can also read the article How do you live after an IME?
