The announcement of a serious illness and the approach of the end of life sometimes help us to discover – or deepen – the spiritual dimension of our being. This helps us to free ourselves from the incidental. And to become aware that our most essential, deepest, vital need is to find our Source and unite with It in love. We can, at times, have end-of-life experiences of immense spiritual richness.
In this way, Anna bears witness to the wonderful spiritual journey of her husband, John, during the last two years of his life. I was deeply moved by this story and am very grateful to Anna for allowing me to publish it. I hope it can be a source of inspiration and comfort to you on your own journey.
“I met John in my Self Realization Fellowship (SRF, founded by Paramahansa Yogananda, author of Autobiography of a Yogi) meditation group. We were friends for three years, then fell in love and got married.
A special person
John was a special person. As well as being a sincere seeker after God, he managed to do everything in life with great seriousness and competence, and at the same time with lightness and simplicity. He had achieved great things in his life: he had been a champion mountain biker on the American team, and he was a famous guitar maker with his own beautiful workshop. But he was a quiet person, who didn’t like to boast or show off his skills.
A vegetarian, a sportsman, very committed to his spiritual path, a top-level hatha yoga practitioner, he never smoked or drank a day in his life. But suddenly, at the age of fifty, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Only 3 months to live
The surgeon told me he had just three months to live. But in addition to his courage in facing each stage of the disease, John didn’t for a moment give up the possibility of fighting that terrible prognosis. He lived two more years.
This struggle has involved research, travel, alternative therapies, hospitals and prayer. But above all, John has completed an extremely spectacular and sometimes miraculous inner journey.
All our SRF friends created a prayer group based on a collective email that was updated as we went along. This has been a tremendous support.
A true spiritual union
Illness, even through very difficult times, made me realize how deeply our love was rooted in the Divine. John went through two years of struggle, setting an example of strength and courage to all those around him. There was only one thing that mattered to me during those two years: I wanted to be able to help him leave his body, and this incarnation, using the illness and its passage to free his soul and reunite with God.
In early June 2017, we traveled to the United States to spend time with his family. Almost two years had passed since his diagnosis, he had very little energy – but he persisted in going for transfusions on his bike! – his stomach and legs were very swollen, and he could hardly eat.
Lahiri Mahasaya
I went to the Mother Center in Mount Washington (SRF headquarters), while he stayed in Colorado. I was there with two nuns and we called him on the phone to allow him to share this moment. Sister Namita was extremely kind to him on the phone and suggested he pray to Lahiri Mahasaya, who was the “healer” among SRF’s spiritual masters (he died in 1895).
After the conversation in Mount Washington, on the way home, messages began to arrive describing John’s immense joy and his family’s disbelief: they couldn’t explain why he was so cheerful, joyful, serene, calm and happy!
He never left
John had a “visitor” that day: Lahiri Mahasaya was with him. He never left him until about a month later, when, in the greatest serenity and peace, John left his body, with my daughter and I singing OM to him. As John slowly faded away, he told me with a smile how wonderful Lahiri Mahasaya’s presence was: “Oh Anna, if you only knew how funny what he’s doing with me is!”.
Deep gratitude
It’s hard to explain the gratitude I feel for having had this experience and how it has changed my life. An incredible peace surrounded John and flooded the room and the house as he flew into the arms of our guru. Every day I feel surrounded by his love? He pushes me and helps me with determination to return home. I’m grateful to have been able to experience what I’m convinced is a spiritual marriage, where we lovingly help each other return to our true home.”
Find out more about Lahiri Mahasaya
