“I’m afraid of messing up my life (emotional, professional, family, artistic, etc.)”. “I’m going to ruin everything” or worse: “I’ve ruined everything”.
Have you ever had these thoughts? If so, we have something in common…
The truth is, I don’t think you can “miss” your life. For several reasons:
What does “a successful life” mean?
The first is that we often misunderstand what it means to be “successful in life”. In general, we start by setting goals in the various areas of our lives. Then, we evaluate our success or failure in proportion to the number and importance of goals achieved or missed.
If we set ourselves these goals, it’s because we think they’re the key to our happiness: “I’ll be happy when…”. Unfortunately, this is a total illusion, and more often than not makes us very dissatisfied and unhappy.
Remember the last time you told yourself that you’d be happy when you’d achieved this or that goal, and you succeeded. Are you really and sustainably happier today? I’d be willing to bet that you’re feeling a new lack instead, and that you’ve given yourself a new goal, another “I’ll be happy when…”.
Love makes us happy
NDErs explain why achieving goals doesn’t make us happy. They have realized that we are part of an energy of infinite, unconditional love. And that the only thing that can make us truly and sustainably happy is to live in connection with this energy. By loving ourselves and those around us. Love given and received is the only thing that counts in life, they realized. Because this love is the only thing we take with us after our bodies die.
We can’t see it, but this energy of love is the basis of the universe. It’s the energy field that animates it and gives life to everything in it. If you become aware, even for a few seconds, of the infinite power of this energy of love within you, it will transform you from top to bottom. It will make you happier than all the achievements and possessions you can dream of.
There’s a second reason why you can’t fail in life, NDErs tell us. It’s because our life on Earth is a school for learning to love and growing in love and wisdom. This means that you will progress, whatever you do, whatever the apparent successes or failures of your life. Because you’re going to learn. More precisely, you’ll learn to love more, whatever your learning pace.
Life isn’t double or nothing
What’s more, life isn’t double or nothing: all NDErs say that our growth continues after we die. Either we return to earth for that purpose, or we continue that growth in the next world. So there’s no pressure. What you haven’t learned in this life, you’ll learn later!
See beyond this one life and this one universe. You are eternal, and the time you spend on earth is only a tiny part of your real life. Everything you experience, everything you do, contributes to your progress towards the light. Even if you live for decades in hatred and violence, you haven’t failed in life. You’ve learned something. Because, after your death, you’ll see the consequences of your way of life, for yourself and for others. This will be very useful for the future, because it will motivate you to try something else.
Beware: the school’s image can be misleading. It can give the impression that there’s a well-defined program, with a penalty for those who don’t keep up. People who believe in a god – whatever they call it – often imagine that this god has a will for their lives. They think they have to find out what that will is, and do it, in order to “succeed” in life. They often have the image of a “divine schoolmaster” who would take stock at the end of their schooling and tell them whether or not they have their diploma.
Life is not a test to pass
Fortunately, this image does not correspond to the reality described by NDErs! They tell us that, if life on earth is a school, it’s a school with no set curriculum, no levels to pass and no exams. That’s also why life can’t be a failure: it’s not a test to pass, but a time to experiment, create and grow.
Light loves your life as it is. With its fullness and its hollowness, its highs and its lows, its shadows and its lights. It expects nothing in particular from you. She’s just curious to see what you’re going to do in this life. And she’ll be happy to see it, whatever it is.
Being happy is our only goal
Jeffery Olsen, for example, had a profound NDE and a wonderful encounter with this Energy he calls “God”. The Energy explained that it had no particular will for Jeffery’s life. Its only “will” was for Jeffery to do what he wanted, what he liked, what made him happy. [1]
Another Emistress says she too discovered, with amazement and joy, that “our ‘life mission’ is to do the thing(s) we love most. The Light explained to me that doing what I love is the most selfless and constructive thing I can do for the world. Indeed, it’s the energy I’ve been given, and it’s by using it that I’ll be the happiest and be able to give happiness to those around me”.[2]
Andy Petro, also an NDEr, explains: “I love joy because the light I met was full of joy and humor. The light told me that the reason I’m here is to experience joy. And the reason everyone exists is to be joyful. Being joyful is very simple. It’s choosing to love rather than hate, to smile rather than be angry. To seek to make someone else happy.”
When I speak of happiness, I’m not thinking of superficial joy, the kind that arises only when circumstances are favorable and your well-being is assured. I’m talking about deep, lasting joy. The kind that depends little or not at all on external events and wants to share itself with others.
Love and joy are a single energy
Arnaud Desjardins explained that if we seek this quality of joy, we necessarily find love, because we can’t have this inner joy without loving. In fact, love and joy are the same energy. As Jesus said: “Love, abide in love, and you will rejoice”. [3]
Seek to love all the time. And include yourself in that love. This will make your life beautiful and happy because you will see beauty around you and sow joy. Whenever you feel sad, disillusioned, discouraged, unhappy, etc., look for ways you can love yourself and those around you. It doesn’t have to be big: just ask yourself what small action might do you and others good.
Rest assured: loving is not an injunction coupled with an evaluation and tripled with a sanction. You won’t fail in life if you don’t love as much as you’d like to. You’ve lived as well as you could and taken care of yourself and others as much as was possible for you in your situation. Once again, your experience will be useful for the rest of your life.
You’ve already succeeded
Another reason why you can’t fail in life is that you’ve already succeeded: you’re already a being of Light, loving, eternal and unlimited. It’s not about becoming something else, but about discovering your true nature. Life is just an opportunity to realize what you really are.
You don’t miss life any more than a child misses something when he falls while learning to walk. No one expects a child to walk all at once. His parents never see his falls as a failure. They see the fact that he’s trying. And they rejoice because it’s a sign that their child is growing up.
Of course, you’ll be happier and more quickly become what you already are if you live as widely as possible in love and joy. But if that’s not possible for you in this life, it’s not a failure. It’s a step along the way. As Nelson Mandela said: “I never lose. Either I win, or I learn”.
The Light is within you
Forget all the goals, desires, duties and judgments that come from your mind. Be kind, compassionate, loving and patient with yourself. Know that the Light loves you. You are a part of itself. It is constantly in you and you in it. Nothing can separate you from it. You can’t miss your life. Because the Light is with you all the time, its love is infinite and it has all the patience in the universe.
[1] Jeffery Olsen describes his NDE in detail in his book Knowing
[2] Quoted by Kenneth Ring in Lessons from the Light
[3] Gospel of John, chapter 15
To find out more, visit Jeffery Olsen’s website and read the article Un amour sans limites.
